Post by ladyember on Dec 17, 2006 15:18:42 GMT
Well basicly i have made a spoof fic about the ponies in my pony world
And this is starring Barnacel and Salty deciding to make Slugger in to a "man".
Ship of fools:
Early moring in the harbors in Diamond City it whas fogg lying over the streets.
But inside the dark and fish smelling pub run buy Fierfly. In the bar sat the tuffest and most har boiled french seadogs:
Barnacel and Salty ,over a glas of beer.
But in the silent shadows Barnacel said with a harcsh voice:
-Salty... what should we do about are "petit" problem?
Salty looked at him as he flinged his hair over to one side and replyed with his thick french accent:
-What that we cant pay sé beer?
Barnacel quickly put his hoof over his brothers mouth and whisperd in a dark heated voice:
-Quiet! or "madmosielle" Fierfly will kick us out with are heads first
Salty gazed over to the other side of the bar...
There standed Fierfly she whas owner of this pub not ot mess with and had a temper shorter than Barnacels.
Salty looked back at Barnacel again with a scared sheepy look and replyed:
-So what do mean then madmosielle? he said sarcastic.
Barancel gave him a dark look and mumbeld in a cross voice:
-Our "dear" fires (brother in french) Slugger...
Salty stared at him and began to laugh and falled of his bar chair. With the laugh in the troath he slowly raised up again:
-Exscuse moi but our fires Slugger? He who dosent even want to ride a merry go round cause it will mess his hair up? hahahaha
Barnacel hused him and said:
-You know the sailing trip to the Amazon forest today for the company? We are going to bring Slugger make him.... a MAN!
Salty gave his brother a strange look and said:
-Sorry but there is no way he would put up on it!
Barnacel grind and said:
-But then we have to kidnap him hehehe,come on lets move!
But just as they where gazing to the door they saw Fiefly standing right in front of them Salty put on his most buttery french accent and said with a charming smile:
-Ah bonjour mon belle madmosielle you smell of a very nice perfume today.
Fierlfy stepped closer to them and roared:
-You emptyed the beer of the bar last night and you cant pay.
I only smell that ya both are getting KICKED OUT OF HERE!
She grabbed both of the terrifyed sailors buy there necks and and threw them out the window. Yelled to them:
-AND DONT COME BACK!
After the hard landing Barnacel standed up buy the window and started to swear in french as Salty dragged him away to not get in more troubel....
Same time that moring in Sluggers Montgermys big white mansion in the upperclass area of Diamond City. Just a avenue away from Heart Throb Trumps large mansion that took up half of this area in Diamond city.
In Sluggers mansion Slugger himself whas sitting on his balcony in his pink (!?) fluffy morning gown reading Vouge as painting his hoofs with red Estee Lauder hoof polish.
And as the birds where singing this day seemed like evry thing whas going to be a perfect calm day...
As he tenderly put some chock pink lipgloss on his lips the door to the balcony feel down with a BANG!
Terrifyed he turned around finding Salty and Barnacel standing in the opening with iron bars in their hands. Slugger shackenly said:
-Ma door, Ma door! What have you done it took me ages to order that Russian gold for it!
Barnacel walked up to him with heavy steps as the iron bar gave metallic and heavy sounds from it:
-Slugger come with us for sailing its time you learn to be a man!
Slugger looked at him with big puppy eyes and screamed:
-What? moi saling it will mess ma hair up!
Barnacel nodded to Salty and Salty said in a whispery voice:
-We thought so... but if you dont I WILL RIP THIS TO PECIES AND PUT IT UNDER YOUR BED!
Salty held up Heart Throbs exspensive white Chanel dress and held a knife to it.
Slugger started to kick and scream in panic:
-NO PLEASE DONT!IF HEART THROB FINDS IT UNDER MY BED SHE WILL SCREAM AT ME AND HIT ME MORE THAN A PINATA!!! AND IF SHE TAKES OUT HER RAGE AT ME WILL BE HISTORY!
Salty grabbed Slugger and said:
-So what will it be? Getting killed or at least injured for life buy Heart Throb or surving the rainforest and rough seas with us?
Slugger thought a long time *tik tock tick tock...* and finaly he said in a pleading voice:
-Okey i will come....
Barnacel smiled evil and said:
-Good... but just in case you try to run away... i bought this!
Barnacel tryed to trow a potato sack over his head but well in there Slugger became claustro fobic and started kick and scream.
Barnacel shouted to Salty:
-Quick ! get over here and help moi!
Salty did like super man throw himself over the sack and trying to get Slugger in place there did more or less start to look like a wrestling match.....
Three hours later Salty feel tierd on the new polsihed floor and said hevily:
-ohlalala i diddnt know he whas like THAT!
Barnacel sighed and said:
-Salty if you dont want to get fierd we need to get down to the harbor right now before the ship leaves!
And to save time they did jump out from Sluggers balcony ala Jonny Knoxville in Jackass but with less smooth landings....
Well down at the harbor many ponies had gatherd around the ship to see the phenomen that dosent happen to often in Daimond city... Slugger leaving on a ship! Eventought they heard him form the sack screaming :
-Let moi out! Let moi out!!!!
They where still facinated how Salty and Barancel got in down there. Especially the towns tow divas Heart Throb and Princess Tiffany did discuss this topic that whas even more news than
the hurricane Katrina.
-Daaahling do you think Slugger would survie a second on that... ship Heart Throb said.
-Well just as mutch as little moi would survive in a forest...
Heart Throb did gasp and said:
-How mutch do you want to bet that he wont come back alive...?
Princess Tiffany did pull her shoulders and said:
-Maybey my new chanel neck lace...
Just as Heart Throb whas going to place the bet Wig Wam the towns religous fanatic who belived he whas Jesus after Fierfly hit him in the head said:
- REPENT EE SINNERS OF VANITY!
Heart Throb and Tiffany gave him a snobby look and said together:
-As if daaaah....
Anyway... back at the ship Barnacel whas preparing to leave the harbor to the ponies cheers as Salty tryed to calm down a hysteric Slugger trying to get out of the sack as he mutterd:
-Why diddnt i use the iron bar before...? Barnacel hurry up!
And then to the ponies cheers they left the harbor sailng to the Amazon forest. And in the background you could hear Slugger siging dont cry for me my lipgloss (switching argentina to lipgloss). As the ship dissapppered in the mist around the sea.
A few hours later Slugger finally managed to get out of the sack he wha held captive in. He looked himself around the large ship and suddenly realized he whas not at home he started to cry and scream:
-Where are moi? And my hair is all ruind! SAVE A VIRGIN (?!) IN DISTRESS!
As he held his hoof to his for head.
But the moaing whas soon cut buy Salty and Barnacel standing infornt of him with suspicious looks on their faces:
-Hello MAM is MAM ready to hang with the big boys of the block MAM! Salty said
Barnacel started to laugh and said:
-We will be arriving in the Amazon forest soon we will make you... a real man like us!
Slugger looked worryed at him and said with a squeaky voice:
-Rainforest as in real rainforest?....
Salty and Barnacel nodded to him with tuff looks.
-Oh my god.....moi hair think of mois precious hair! he screamed
And started to freak out with his "save a virgin" in distress act again.
But this time while throwing his hair and doing lame atemps to hit Salty. But after Sluggers whimpy act and continued for a while Barnacel lost his very short temper (if he even has a temper). Pressed him up aginst the edge of the boat and screamed:
- YOU CANT BE REALTED TO US YOU ARE A WHIMP DO YOU HEAR IT A WHIMP!!
Just as he whas about to throw him off the edge Salty grabbed Slugger and pulled him back to the ship:
-Nono Barnacel i told you to be paitient if we are going to make a man of him we have to make sure he gets there alive.
Barnacel calmed down and said:
-Exsusi moi but i need a glas of grey goose if im going to survie this tripp he said as he stomped off to the cabin.
Salty just continued as usual since he whas used to see Barnacels temper fly away quicker than Whizzer speaks but Slugger just stood there terrifyed studying his red hoof polsih.
6 hours later the ship bumped in to the banks of the Amazon forest Slugger gazed out to the rougher- than- Saltys- languade
landscape as he thought:
"Ohlala whasnt it better getting demolished buy Heart Throb then?"
As he stared down at the sandbank from the ship Salty sneaked up on him behind and pushed him out from the edge:
-AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH MA HAIR! MA HAIR he screamed but it whas to late he feel down in to the hot sand and sinked down.
Lying there for a while Barnacel and Salty came up behind him.
As Slugger raised his head from the sand Barnacel said:
-Slugger if you can survive a night in this rainforest we can
call you man or something....
Slugger looked at him terrifyed:
-But moi sleeping out there? But i caaant! My make up will be ruind!
Salty rolld his eyes and started to dragg him buy the hooves and said:
-Come on if you wanna get away from here do as we say!
As the sunrised on the sky the three stallions where making their way through the rough landscape of fallen down trees,Insekts and mud.
Salty and Barnacel shared on a bottel of Martini to be abel to stand Slugger moaing like a little girl :
-Where are we camping? I cant walk my malano heels are ruind and this heat is death to my complection!
-Oh can you please shut up a second? roared Barnacel-
-And then i need to be saved buy a stallion in golden armour! Slugger continued
Barnacel grumped to Salty:
-I told you i should have let him sleep with the fishes!
Salty who whas getting tierd under the hot sun snapped:
-But then why dont we leave him here?
Barnacel looked at him and said:
-But you know mum would....
And from behind Slugger you heard him scream:
-MOMMY and sukcing his tumb
Salty looked back and said in a more snappy voice:
- Barnacel she is dead since 8 years ago!
Barnacel looked up at Salty as he stappeld along the rough ground:
-But in that case.... he repyled
And gave him a evil grin...
Later that eveing they had set up a tent and put a fier outside and they where now sirring there drinking Martini.
Well evryone exept Slugger who whas despertaley looking for a mirror while Barnacel said:
-Salty we wont really *hick* leave him..*hick*
Salty replied in a blurry voice:
-Well no we wooooont *hick*
As the fier sparkeld Slugger wnet behind them and said:
-Exsuce moi but moi have to get his beauty sleep.
He walked in the tent with a pink eye mask or at least tryed to walk in after bumping in to it 28 times.
The martini started to flow hevily as the night got later....
Next moring Salty woke up with a big headache finding himself buy the ship.
He looked around and saw Barnacel having his worst hangover ever buy the steering wheel.
Salty tryed to collect his breath and shouthed to him:
-Ey where are we going?!
Barnacel turned around and said:
-Home and....?
The trip continued as they reached the harbor.
But then Barnacel said:
-Salty havent we forgot something?
-Eh my Martini bottel? He repiled sleppy
-Yeah.. that but something else to...
They thought about it as they stepped on to land Salty exclamied:
-Now i know what we forgot.... SLUGGER!
THE END
Tell me what you think
And this is starring Barnacel and Salty deciding to make Slugger in to a "man".
Ship of fools:
Early moring in the harbors in Diamond City it whas fogg lying over the streets.
But inside the dark and fish smelling pub run buy Fierfly. In the bar sat the tuffest and most har boiled french seadogs:
Barnacel and Salty ,over a glas of beer.
But in the silent shadows Barnacel said with a harcsh voice:
-Salty... what should we do about are "petit" problem?
Salty looked at him as he flinged his hair over to one side and replyed with his thick french accent:
-What that we cant pay sé beer?
Barnacel quickly put his hoof over his brothers mouth and whisperd in a dark heated voice:
-Quiet! or "madmosielle" Fierfly will kick us out with are heads first
Salty gazed over to the other side of the bar...
There standed Fierfly she whas owner of this pub not ot mess with and had a temper shorter than Barnacels.
Salty looked back at Barnacel again with a scared sheepy look and replyed:
-So what do mean then madmosielle? he said sarcastic.
Barancel gave him a dark look and mumbeld in a cross voice:
-Our "dear" fires (brother in french) Slugger...
Salty stared at him and began to laugh and falled of his bar chair. With the laugh in the troath he slowly raised up again:
-Exscuse moi but our fires Slugger? He who dosent even want to ride a merry go round cause it will mess his hair up? hahahaha
Barnacel hused him and said:
-You know the sailing trip to the Amazon forest today for the company? We are going to bring Slugger make him.... a MAN!
Salty gave his brother a strange look and said:
-Sorry but there is no way he would put up on it!
Barnacel grind and said:
-But then we have to kidnap him hehehe,come on lets move!
But just as they where gazing to the door they saw Fiefly standing right in front of them Salty put on his most buttery french accent and said with a charming smile:
-Ah bonjour mon belle madmosielle you smell of a very nice perfume today.
Fierlfy stepped closer to them and roared:
-You emptyed the beer of the bar last night and you cant pay.
I only smell that ya both are getting KICKED OUT OF HERE!
She grabbed both of the terrifyed sailors buy there necks and and threw them out the window. Yelled to them:
-AND DONT COME BACK!
After the hard landing Barnacel standed up buy the window and started to swear in french as Salty dragged him away to not get in more troubel....
Same time that moring in Sluggers Montgermys big white mansion in the upperclass area of Diamond City. Just a avenue away from Heart Throb Trumps large mansion that took up half of this area in Diamond city.
In Sluggers mansion Slugger himself whas sitting on his balcony in his pink (!?) fluffy morning gown reading Vouge as painting his hoofs with red Estee Lauder hoof polish.
And as the birds where singing this day seemed like evry thing whas going to be a perfect calm day...
As he tenderly put some chock pink lipgloss on his lips the door to the balcony feel down with a BANG!
Terrifyed he turned around finding Salty and Barnacel standing in the opening with iron bars in their hands. Slugger shackenly said:
-Ma door, Ma door! What have you done it took me ages to order that Russian gold for it!
Barnacel walked up to him with heavy steps as the iron bar gave metallic and heavy sounds from it:
-Slugger come with us for sailing its time you learn to be a man!
Slugger looked at him with big puppy eyes and screamed:
-What? moi saling it will mess ma hair up!
Barnacel nodded to Salty and Salty said in a whispery voice:
-We thought so... but if you dont I WILL RIP THIS TO PECIES AND PUT IT UNDER YOUR BED!
Salty held up Heart Throbs exspensive white Chanel dress and held a knife to it.
Slugger started to kick and scream in panic:
-NO PLEASE DONT!IF HEART THROB FINDS IT UNDER MY BED SHE WILL SCREAM AT ME AND HIT ME MORE THAN A PINATA!!! AND IF SHE TAKES OUT HER RAGE AT ME WILL BE HISTORY!
Salty grabbed Slugger and said:
-So what will it be? Getting killed or at least injured for life buy Heart Throb or surving the rainforest and rough seas with us?
Slugger thought a long time *tik tock tick tock...* and finaly he said in a pleading voice:
-Okey i will come....
Barnacel smiled evil and said:
-Good... but just in case you try to run away... i bought this!
Barnacel tryed to trow a potato sack over his head but well in there Slugger became claustro fobic and started kick and scream.
Barnacel shouted to Salty:
-Quick ! get over here and help moi!
Salty did like super man throw himself over the sack and trying to get Slugger in place there did more or less start to look like a wrestling match.....
Three hours later Salty feel tierd on the new polsihed floor and said hevily:
-ohlalala i diddnt know he whas like THAT!
Barnacel sighed and said:
-Salty if you dont want to get fierd we need to get down to the harbor right now before the ship leaves!
And to save time they did jump out from Sluggers balcony ala Jonny Knoxville in Jackass but with less smooth landings....
Well down at the harbor many ponies had gatherd around the ship to see the phenomen that dosent happen to often in Daimond city... Slugger leaving on a ship! Eventought they heard him form the sack screaming :
-Let moi out! Let moi out!!!!
They where still facinated how Salty and Barancel got in down there. Especially the towns tow divas Heart Throb and Princess Tiffany did discuss this topic that whas even more news than
the hurricane Katrina.
-Daaahling do you think Slugger would survie a second on that... ship Heart Throb said.
-Well just as mutch as little moi would survive in a forest...
Heart Throb did gasp and said:
-How mutch do you want to bet that he wont come back alive...?
Princess Tiffany did pull her shoulders and said:
-Maybey my new chanel neck lace...
Just as Heart Throb whas going to place the bet Wig Wam the towns religous fanatic who belived he whas Jesus after Fierfly hit him in the head said:
- REPENT EE SINNERS OF VANITY!
Heart Throb and Tiffany gave him a snobby look and said together:
-As if daaaah....
Anyway... back at the ship Barnacel whas preparing to leave the harbor to the ponies cheers as Salty tryed to calm down a hysteric Slugger trying to get out of the sack as he mutterd:
-Why diddnt i use the iron bar before...? Barnacel hurry up!
And then to the ponies cheers they left the harbor sailng to the Amazon forest. And in the background you could hear Slugger siging dont cry for me my lipgloss (switching argentina to lipgloss). As the ship dissapppered in the mist around the sea.
A few hours later Slugger finally managed to get out of the sack he wha held captive in. He looked himself around the large ship and suddenly realized he whas not at home he started to cry and scream:
-Where are moi? And my hair is all ruind! SAVE A VIRGIN (?!) IN DISTRESS!
As he held his hoof to his for head.
But the moaing whas soon cut buy Salty and Barnacel standing infornt of him with suspicious looks on their faces:
-Hello MAM is MAM ready to hang with the big boys of the block MAM! Salty said
Barnacel started to laugh and said:
-We will be arriving in the Amazon forest soon we will make you... a real man like us!
Slugger looked worryed at him and said with a squeaky voice:
-Rainforest as in real rainforest?....
Salty and Barnacel nodded to him with tuff looks.
-Oh my god.....moi hair think of mois precious hair! he screamed
And started to freak out with his "save a virgin" in distress act again.
But this time while throwing his hair and doing lame atemps to hit Salty. But after Sluggers whimpy act and continued for a while Barnacel lost his very short temper (if he even has a temper). Pressed him up aginst the edge of the boat and screamed:
- YOU CANT BE REALTED TO US YOU ARE A WHIMP DO YOU HEAR IT A WHIMP!!
Just as he whas about to throw him off the edge Salty grabbed Slugger and pulled him back to the ship:
-Nono Barnacel i told you to be paitient if we are going to make a man of him we have to make sure he gets there alive.
Barnacel calmed down and said:
-Exsusi moi but i need a glas of grey goose if im going to survie this tripp he said as he stomped off to the cabin.
Salty just continued as usual since he whas used to see Barnacels temper fly away quicker than Whizzer speaks but Slugger just stood there terrifyed studying his red hoof polsih.
6 hours later the ship bumped in to the banks of the Amazon forest Slugger gazed out to the rougher- than- Saltys- languade
landscape as he thought:
"Ohlala whasnt it better getting demolished buy Heart Throb then?"
As he stared down at the sandbank from the ship Salty sneaked up on him behind and pushed him out from the edge:
-AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH MA HAIR! MA HAIR he screamed but it whas to late he feel down in to the hot sand and sinked down.
Lying there for a while Barnacel and Salty came up behind him.
As Slugger raised his head from the sand Barnacel said:
-Slugger if you can survive a night in this rainforest we can
call you man or something....
Slugger looked at him terrifyed:
-But moi sleeping out there? But i caaant! My make up will be ruind!
Salty rolld his eyes and started to dragg him buy the hooves and said:
-Come on if you wanna get away from here do as we say!
As the sunrised on the sky the three stallions where making their way through the rough landscape of fallen down trees,Insekts and mud.
Salty and Barnacel shared on a bottel of Martini to be abel to stand Slugger moaing like a little girl :
-Where are we camping? I cant walk my malano heels are ruind and this heat is death to my complection!
-Oh can you please shut up a second? roared Barnacel-
-And then i need to be saved buy a stallion in golden armour! Slugger continued
Barnacel grumped to Salty:
-I told you i should have let him sleep with the fishes!
Salty who whas getting tierd under the hot sun snapped:
-But then why dont we leave him here?
Barnacel looked at him and said:
-But you know mum would....
And from behind Slugger you heard him scream:
-MOMMY and sukcing his tumb
Salty looked back and said in a more snappy voice:
- Barnacel she is dead since 8 years ago!
Barnacel looked up at Salty as he stappeld along the rough ground:
-But in that case.... he repyled
And gave him a evil grin...
Later that eveing they had set up a tent and put a fier outside and they where now sirring there drinking Martini.
Well evryone exept Slugger who whas despertaley looking for a mirror while Barnacel said:
-Salty we wont really *hick* leave him..*hick*
Salty replied in a blurry voice:
-Well no we wooooont *hick*
As the fier sparkeld Slugger wnet behind them and said:
-Exsuce moi but moi have to get his beauty sleep.
He walked in the tent with a pink eye mask or at least tryed to walk in after bumping in to it 28 times.
The martini started to flow hevily as the night got later....
Next moring Salty woke up with a big headache finding himself buy the ship.
He looked around and saw Barnacel having his worst hangover ever buy the steering wheel.
Salty tryed to collect his breath and shouthed to him:
-Ey where are we going?!
Barnacel turned around and said:
-Home and....?
The trip continued as they reached the harbor.
But then Barnacel said:
-Salty havent we forgot something?
-Eh my Martini bottel? He repiled sleppy
-Yeah.. that but something else to...
They thought about it as they stepped on to land Salty exclamied:
-Now i know what we forgot.... SLUGGER!
THE END
Tell me what you think
